February 2012
9 posts
“It is greed and laziness and selfishness, not hunger or weariness or cold, that...”
– George Macdonald, The Princess and the Curdie
Reflexive
While I consider myself to be a generally wise young gentleman oozing with great advice, which I have no problem distributing unsolicited on the internet, some people may disagree. To those people, I urge you to find truth in this post. I believe that you will if you try really hard. It’s a bit like finding Waldo. However, note that the vast majority of what I want to tell you reflects back...
The problem with having a good weekend is that it must, despite my attempts to bend space and time by watching a movie I just finished watching, turn into a Monday. The problem with social media is that there is nothing you can do to stop me from telling you all about it. My verbosity, much like a Monday, is inevitable.
So Ima (contraction for “I’m going to”) tell you what Ima...
Stuff I Overhear
“Whole bunch of stuff going on. Apparently an eye infection.”
While this is not extremely scandalous or disgusting, there are still some conversations that don’t need to be had in a quiet coffee shop. And she’s sitting in my spot. That’s where I sit. That’s the Greg table. Granted, everyone likes to sit at that table, but I’m the most offended when...
January 2012
24 posts
You know you’ve found a good one when you give her a tour of your living space saying, “This is my Samurai Jack poster, Samurai Jack bobble-heads, Storm Trooper and Captain America figures, Optimus Prime Mr. Potato Head, Ratchet and Clank cardboard cutout and action figures (mint in box), signed Les Paul t-shirt, Zombie superhero painting, Nerf battle axe and mace, stuffed abominable...
Will no number of muffins satisfy this voracious...
There’s a certain contentment that comes after you’ve eaten delicious oatmeal, pancakes, or pizza and beer, or when you’ve hit a stretch of time in which all that goes wrong is clearly your fault only. That’s no bad thing. Now, nothing has gone wrong, and I’m not complaining. Things are all right for me at the moment. I had my oatmeal this morning, and I’m...
Spivey Hall, you have the worst timing. You would choose to feature a concert of my favorite composer and my favorite work by said composer during what might be the busiest, most expensive week of my winter. This is beyond bad luck. This is malicious.
I really did have every intention of getting some work done in this coffee shop. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
So lemme tell you what I learned yesterday. Hunker down.
I learned that I might have the world’s weakest shoulders and that an arcade boxing game can accurately diagnose the strengths and weaknesses of one’s personality. You see, there’s this game at the arcade where the player, that’s me, picks up two boxing gloves, each weighing about the same as a medium sized dog, and...
These Things I Have Learned
Seeing as I am an encyclopedic source of great information and sage advice, I feel that when I have one of my breakthroughs that I should share what I have learned rather than horde it for myself. Congratulations universe, you are the recipient of my wisdom. Learn and apply. These things I have learned:
It is possible to dream about nachos for every meal. It is also possible to achieve that...
Blue subcompacts. I should take it as an omen.
I’m pretty sure that this will be the year that I get super powers. If that is the case, which is more than likely, there are a number of people that should avoid my ire.
People that change lanes without signaling: This is a crime that should be punishable by jail time. If I am gifted with super strength, expect me to carry you and your car directly to prison. If I get laser eye beams, say...
5 tags
December 2011
24 posts
So long, 2011, and good riddance. I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you go. I don’t much care about welcoming in the new year so much as I just can’t contain my excitement at saying goodbye to you forever. I can’t remember a year when I’ve ever felt more dejected, ostracized, lonely, led-on, angry, exploited, inadequate, worried, or just plain crappy. I’m...
Kids These Days: Spotify, Radiohead, and the... →
This is a problem, and I admit I’m a part of it. I can’t help but agree with the author when he says, “We can’t afford to live off candy bars forever.”
I’ve gone and done it now. I broke down and ate an M&M at almost eleven at night. Sure it starts off small. But soon it just won’t be enough, and I’ll have to get more and more M&Ms to satisfy the cravings. Next thing you know I’ll be missing work to go score more candies. I’ll be selling all of my stuff so that I can afford more and more bags of peanut and...
Oh Todd, where art thou? I sent you an email yeterday about Billy Tucci, and I was hoping we could back-and-forth about it. Ho hum, without someone to back-and-forth with I am lost in my sobriety. I love you and I hate you, Todd.
Bob Cratchett. Is that how you spell it? Well, that guy is who I should be when I grow up. I’ll be broke anyway. Good ol’ Bobby, he don’t need no...
Never the one to be self-less, I have decided to present my dear readers and critics (I can read your thoughts.) with a list of items that I would like for Christmas. I noticed that no one got me anything for my birthday, so consider this a chance to redeem yourselves and make it back into my good graces and possibly my will. If you really put your mind to it, you can make it happen.
A delicious...
Greg, I thought we agreed on the whole arm’s length thing. Clearly we need to review the rules.
“The only thing standing between greatness and me is me.”
– Woody Allen
Apologies to all my friends.
I really must speak out for the sake of a great composer: Mario Castelnuovo-Tedesco. Dude was a film and art composer in the golden days until he died in 1966. He taught some other really great composers like John Williams (yup), Henry Mancini (Pink Panther guy), and Andre Previn (also world renowned conductor). The reason we don’t hear more of this guy is because he was writing melodies...
